Just Take My Word On It

Trust Me!

The Absolute Cardio Machine!

OK, so I work out 6 days a week out here and thats cool cause i have nothing better to do. But when i'm home i'd love to be able to watch the t.v. and work out but, IN COMFORT! I dont want to have to drag out the exercise machine and then put it away when i'm done. Thats like way too much work, fuck off with your fold away treadmills and other bullshit! i've come up with something better, i just need some one with the motivation, knowledge, and drive to create this masterpiece. Have a recliner? How does it feel? Probably your most comfortable piece of furniture right? Pull the lever, lean back, sip on a cool drink while watching your favorite program, ahhh thats nice. Yea well it also turns you to a fat ass if you do it all damn day right! If your saying "No" right now your probably don't watch much t.v. or you are out of shape and just take insults like "They don't mean it, they are just kidding, right?" WRONG! Some one build the fucking fantastic machine that took me 5 minutes to draw and serve your country a favor while making millions! Just don't put that fuck Vince from Shamwow in your fucking commercial. I'll proudly buy! Thanks!

Ummm... Bullshit...

Okay So out of the many people you will meet in the Navy, and there are all sorts, one of the worst is the bullshitter. This may also be combined with the One Upper. The combination of the two can be deadly, not only to a good conversation but also your I.Q. As well as that persons credibility. So the best way to stop the madness is just to call the person out. After this is done a couple times the offender may stop. If they don't have fun with them, make up a random ass story that you think can't be out done, and watch them work their magic. This is also good to set up your bull shit flag. An idea of how to make a bull shit flag is taking a coffee filter color it yellow and put something weighted at the bottom. Tie off the top and wait for the story weaving magic to occur. Then simply toss your flag in the middle of the conversation circle and you have now won this battle with wits, comedy, and honesty. Then you get to watch the aftermath of random names of whoever might have been there and hear how they will ask them next time they see them or blah blah blah... whatever retard you lost! FAIL! Anyway just my random of the day enjoy the art work and have fun!

Robots

Fucking robots. They are all around us, you know who they are, cold, unbendable, programmed and a pain in the ass. So today I am working, actually working, and its cold, my workspace is near 50 degrees at all times, so I'm cold and wearing this knit hat that was sent out to the ship in a care package for everyone on the ship. I stayed up extra late to go down to the mess decks and fight over the sweet, warm, nice gift that some woman named Ellen knitted for me. I like this hat its comfy, looks nice, and to add some extra flare I sewed a brim into it. Well as I am walking through the work space this blistering morning the shops door is slammed upon. I mean like the cops were at the door. And thinking quickly I just opened the damn thing to see one of my officers there. The first words out of his mouth are about my hat and how i'm not allowed to wear it because it wasn't issued. Well this is where i go into talking about robots. Sir come in here for 12 hours and tell me if you'd like the wear a hat. Yes i probably shouldn't have opened the door with it on but, is that worth an ass chewing? Anyway afterward i picked up the crumbs of my ass and tried to reassemble it, put my hat away, and went to bed. Today is a new day though people! Today I am not just a pirate/taliban/terrorist hunter, I AM ALSO HUNTING ROBOTS! PEACE!

The first day of the rest of our lives...

So hello blog, today is the begining, or maybe the end. Who knows? Anyway I just started this thing to waste my free time while i'm out defending our country and floating on the ocean. I may post more I may not who knows. We'll see what kind of things i can think of. Maybe i'll do a drawing on paint every now and then to depict an occurance out here that i thought was funny. Or maybe i'll just rant and talk endlessly, maybe i'll take requests...doubt it...any way thanks for reading so far and enjoy!